Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Backlogged (again)

I have a lotta catchin' up to do on this here blog, as usual. But that ain't happenin' today, and tomorrow ain't lookin' likely either. I'm mainly checkin' in to let my two faithful followers know that I ain't dead.

In lieu of a post with some substance, I'll simply leave you with my dinner from the other night...

Bacon cheddar elk burgers, otherwise known as Heaven between two slices of Italian. The elk burger was seasoned with some paprika, diced onion, garlic powder and Old Bay, with some bread crumbs and an egg thrown in to hold the whole mess together. Served with BBQ sauce and jalapeño pickles, and washed down with a local ale of unknown  origin (the filled growler was a Christmas present... I don't remember the name of the brewpub it came from). All of these things conspired to make a goddammed delicious, if not quite healthy, meal for this fat kid.

Friday, December 25, 2015

From our parlor to yours...

Because the cows don't take a day off to celebrate the birth of our Lord.

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Good shit paper

Figgered I'd throw this'n out while I'm bashin' on the Hildebeast.

My brothers and I saw these gems durin' our annual Christmas shoppin' trip* last week.

I'd be honored to wipe my ass with this stuff. Be the most fittin' tribute I could manage for those two crooks.

* Many moons ago, when I was still in college and Jesse was workin' nearby, we decided to meet up after class/work at the local mall to do some Christmas shoppin'. We've done it every year since, and have since included Joe, and Jesse's oldest son. We don't actually shop for the most part, but we do enjoy drinkin' coffee from the mall coffee shop and checkin' out women. It's usually a big deal when one of us actually makes a purchase.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Too true, unfortunately

Saw this over on T-Shirt Hell the other day. Sadly, a lotta idiots will, just because she does.
I'd love to see some sort of required civic testin' be done in order to vote (and breed, for that matter). At the very least, there should be some sorta qualifications other than breathin'.

Friday, December 11, 2015

A bangin' deer chili recipe

I'm usually lucky to get a deer or two every year, but I have to ration my venison stash so it'll make it through the followin' year. That sure as hell ain't gonna be a problem this year, so I'm gonna have to be a little less shy about takin' stuff out and doin' some cookin' with it.

Anyways, I wanted to whip up a batch of deer chili to take to work the other day, so I jumped online to find a base recipe, then proceeded to alter the hell outta it. I cheated and used canned stuff, for lack of fresh produce layin' around. I also used beans, which you chili purists are sure to hate me for. I was raised on beans in my chili, and I see no reason to shy away from that at this point.


• 2 lbs ground deer burger
• 1 lb deer or pork sausage
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• Salt, pepper and Old Bay to taste

• 28oz can diced tomatoes
• 4oz can Chipotle peppers
• 15.5oz can sweet corn, drained
• 15.5oz can Navy beans, drained
• 15.5oz can Kidney beans, drained
• 2-3 diced jalapeƱo peppers
• 2 tsp Cinnamon
• Hot pepper sauce to taste

While enjoying a cold beverage, brown the meat in a large skillet on low heat. Drain, then add the onions and garlic and cook for five more minutes. Add more beer to the cook as necessary.

Meanwhile, dump all the other ingredients into your crock pot. When the meat mixture is done, add that in, mix everything up, and cook on low for 8-10 hours. Stir every hour or so. Again, add more beer to the cook as necessary.

Serve with shredded Cheddar cheese and sour cream.


That's all there is to it. I suck at cookin', and my prep time was still only about 15 minutes. There is a super-secret ingredient that I added, but faced with the risk of Aunt Wanda forcibly removin' my manhood, I have omitted it here. One of these days, I'll try a batch without it to see if it makes or breaks the recipe. I also noticed well after the fact that my base recipe called for 3 Tbsp of chili powder, which I completely forgot to add in.

Regardless, the outcome was jolly damn delicious, and my coworkers are still ravin' about it several days later. Go ahead and give it a fair shake and tell me whatcha think.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015


Over the summer, my lady mentioned that one of the trees in the backyard was lookin' a little rough. Sure enough, it barely grew any leaves and the ones that did grow died quickly.

The problem was, it was leanin' dangerously toward the house. There was about a ten-foot space between the house and the sandmound that it could be dropped without damagin' anythin', but I sure as hell didn't trust myself to give it a whirl. Instead of riskin' a lovely hole in the dining room ceilin' or smashed sandmound pipes, we decided to call in a pro.

The fella showed up the other day to take care of it, and I gotta say, it was worth every penny we paid him just to watch him work. Within two hours, he had that thing down slicker than shit. I learned more about woodcuttin' in that two hours that I have from any amount of time I've spent behind a saw.

Gotta love a cheap education.

Monday, December 7, 2015

The huntin' nun

File this under "Things you don't hear about every day"...

By Marcus Schneck
on December 06, 2015 at 9:32 AM, updated December 06, 2015 at 9:33

Sister John Paul Bauer stood over the magnificent, 10-point buck, the largest deer she'd ever seen in the wild in Elk County.

The 60-year-old Benedictine nun recalled the events of the past few minutes, savoring a memory that deer hunters will ever experience.

Just before 9 a.m., about three hours after first climbing into her tree stand on a friend's land near Weedville on Nov. 30, the first day of the 2015 rifle hunting season for deer, she had finished praying the rosary.
"I always pray the rosary in my tree stand," she explained. "It's a tradition."

Hours in a tree stand are a contemplative time, when a hunter wants to remain as still and quiet as possible.

Sister John Paul had then started to pour herself a cup of coffee from her thermos, reinforcement for the leggings and the orange hunting coat she wore under and over her habit against the 23-degree air.
Suddenly a herd of does "came flying up this steep embankment," startling her to the point that she dropped her thermos. Strangely the clatter of the metal cup did not cause the antlerless deer to pause even a moment.

Something unusual was pushing those does, she pondered as she studied the scene.

Then she spotted the two bucks sparring behind the does. Her 10-pointer and an eight-point in pitched battle, actually rising on their hind legs, something few will ever witness first-hand. The sound of their rattling antlers came to her ears.

When the bucks backed off one another for a breather about a hundred yards from her stand, Sister John Paul leveled the scope of her Winchester 30-30 on the 10-pointed and triggered off a shot.

The big buck, which was later weighed at about 200 pounds, fell to the forest floor at 9:05 a.m.

After making sure of her kill, the theology teacher at Elk County Catholic High School in St. Marys retreated down the mountainside to the home of the landowner, Shirley Burke, for some help in retrieving the heavy animal.

They called Sister Jacinta Conklin, another nun at St. Joseph's Monastery in St. Marys who was hunting solo in another location, and together the three woman dragged the deer out of the woods.

Deer hunting has been a tradition among the nuns at the monastery for decades, just as it is with nearly the entire community in St. Marys. Sister John Paul bought her first rifle, the Winchester, soon after she arrived there and has not missed a first day for 15 years or so.

Sister John Paul professed her final vows with the Benedictine Sisters of Elk County in 2002. She earned her nursing degree in 1975, two years after graduating from high school, and then went on to serve as a nurse with the U.S. Navy and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.

Growing up in St. Marys, she had watched as her father and brothers ventured out on many a first day, "but I was never invited."

She's bagged a few other bucks along the way, one from that same tree stand near Weedville, as well as a 200-pound bear. Her best buck prior to this year was a six-pointer with a much smaller body.

"You can tell the conservation efforts have paid off, because the deer are getting bigger," she noted.

Antler restrictions imposed by the Pennsylvania Game Commission in recent years encourage hunters to pass up younger bucks, allowing them to gain additional maturity and growth before being harvested.

A photo of Sister John Paul on the Facebook page of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Erie went viral, attracting more than a million views and the normal criticisms of anti-hunters.

She has taken the attacks in stride, noting, "In this area pretty much everyone hunts. It's good conservation.

"I'm a person first, a normal human being who likes to hunt and happens to be serving God."

On the website of the diocese, she further explained, "You have to maintain the population that can be fed naturally off the land. If you get an overabundance, then the deer starve. Likewise, if you overkill, then that's not good either. So there's a balance."
As a Benedictine, she believes that Christ is in everything, even the hunted. "You don't just hunt for the sake of killing. You are part of nature. You're part of a cycle. You're part of creation."

Most of the venison from the big buck was dontated to several local families, including one that has a Christmas tradition of eating deer stew as the main meal that day. The sisters at St. Joseph's share the prized and tender back straps.

Jeff Crawford of Whitetail Taxidermy in St. Marys will mount the 16-inch-spread, almost perfectly symmetrical rack.