Thursday, December 30, 2010

Happy New Year's

I had the misfortune to draw the mornin' milkin' shift for New Year's, so I won't be able to raise hell with my friends and imbibe on expensive micro brews all night.

So instead, I'll just hang out for a little bit, maybe have a beer or two, then head off to the parlor. After the girls are milked, I'll take the ol' muzzlebanger for a walk on the farm and see if I can add to the freezer for the new year.

I've tried milking drunk before. You can do it, but it sucks. And shootin' a gun while nursin' a hangover is one of life's shittier pleasures.

So that said, I hope y'all enjoy your New Year's celebrations. I hope some of y'all get shitty drunk and start doin' body shots offa someone's grandmother, since I can't do it myself. And if you feel the urge to drive after ya been drinkin', just do us all a favor and hurl your body repeatedly against a brick wall until you're unconscious. It's a lot easier than bein' in a wreck or dealin' with the 5-0.

Y'all take care now.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas to All!

My good buddy James, who in my biased opinion is one of the better picture-takers on the east coast, spends more time on the internet than I do. Therefore, he finds all the good swag and lets me know about it. He sends me stuff pretty regularly, and hunting season is slowing down, so I'll be coppin' out and usin' his stuff every now and then.

This week, just in time for that thoughtful, but late, Christmas gift, he's sent this little gem. Perfect for a knife/gearhead/redneck aficionado such as myself. You might want to take it outta your wallet before you fly though, or the ragin' bulldykes at the TSA will be grabbin' more than your junk.

I hope y'all have a Merry Christmas! Enjoy the privilege of giving and spending time with your families. After all, regardless of what the retailers say, that's what it's all about.


Illegal Download of the Post

In the spirit of the season, I'm posting a collection of All-American Christmas carols by a nationally-recognized, esteemed recording artist. These carols are beautiful, well-performed, and politically correct on all fronts. Enjoy!

Song: All-American Christmas Carols
Artist: Larry the Cable Guy
Video: Git-R-Done Live (2003)

Y'all take care, now.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Ron & Bill's Bucks

Ron was kind enough to send pictures of himself and Uncle Bill with their bucks...

Ron had put a shot on this deer the first Saturday, but it wasn't a righteous shot. The buck made the mistake of rollin' past him again though, and Ron plugged 'im good the second time around.

This would have made a hell of an 8-pointer had a recent fight not busted off his other side. You could see where the other buck's antler jammed into the base and popped it right off.


Illegal Download of the Post

I finally got my fingers on a good one the other day. A little back story here.... Whenever Schlongie and I arrive at the cottage, he don't bring nothin' in until the record player is fired up with Johnny Paycheck's 1977 classic, Take This Job and Shove It. It's one of my favorite albums, so years ago I tried to get all of the songs on mp3 to make a disc for the car. I was able to get all but one.... until Tuesday. Best damn tune on the whole album, so I'm pretty happy to have it digitally now. Although the ol' record still sounds better, clicks, scratches, pops and all.

Song: The Spirits of St. Louis
Artist: Johnny Paycheck
Album: Take This Job and Shove It (1977)

Y'all take care, now.

Monday, December 13, 2010


Well, looks like the ol' ought-six will get stuck back on the gun rack, unsatisfied, yet again. Been a few years since I've bloodied her, and I did nothing to improve that on Saturday.

Due to some holiday stuff goin' on, I decided to forgo the trip upstate and hunt at the farm. There's been plenty of deer around there, and I always enjoy getting a chance to hunt and drive with those guys.

To start it off, I overslept, and things just went downhill from there. My little brother Joe went to where I probably would have been and he watched a few deer, including a six-pointer, browse in the swamp below him. We spent the rest of the day driving, had deer moving all over the place, but didn't have standers in the right place to intercept them. A lot of walking, a lot of fun, but not many results.

Good reports from upstate though... Ron bagged an eight-pointer that he missed last weekend, and cousins Nate and Adam got a pair of big does. And the season ain't over yet... there's still late archery and muzzleloader so I might fill another tag before it's all said and done.

The weekend wasn't a lost cause though... when the huntin' was through, I put on my Santa suit and joined a bunch of friends in town for the 6th Annual Gettysburg Santa Crawl. Too much booze, but always a good time. Gets this ol' boy in the holiday spirit.


Illegal Download of the Post

I've been suckin' hind tit on my music duties. It was the thick of the huntin' season, what can I say? For that reason I'll give ya two today...

Song: Country Boy
Artist: Aaron Lewis
Album: Town Line (2011)

Song: Shit Creek
Artist: Bad Livers
Album: Delusions of Banjer (1992)

Y'all take care, now.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Bradford County Bucks

Here's a lil' taste of what we get to chase around upstate. A lot of these bucks were killed within spittin' distance of different properties where our group hunts.

Thanks to Ron for the link.

Monday, December 6, 2010

One Week Down

All kindsa nifty shit goin' on here during deer season.

First off, my time in the woods has been enjoyable but boring. Seen a bunch of baldies, but no bones. I'm out of my element gun huntin' deer... they're runnin' all over the place 'cuz people are chasin' them. I'd much rather have a Hoyt in my hands and have them actin' a little more naturally.

But good things do happen. The ol' man, whose last buck was a legal spike in PA (I can't remember when antler restrictions started, but it's been a while), scored a fine Bradford County 8-point after an exciting afternoon on Friday. My brothers and I have tasted success the last few years, and we were all hopin' to see the ol' man score. The nice doctor chopped on his back last November and he couldn't hunt, so this buck was especially sweet. Ironically, when I relieved the buck of his hair, I found that some ol' boy had a bad day... there was a .30-caliber hole low in the brisket from a not-so-accurate shot, fairly recently. Another 2 inches higher and he'da never made it to Dad, another 2 inches lower and he wouldn'ta lost a hair. I'd like to say he was lucky, but then he made the fatal mistake of rollin' past the ol' man.
On top of that, Ron smoked a pair of does and Uncle Bill got a dandy 1-horned 4-point. Looks like he got a little randy fightin' with another buck pretty shortly before he got shot... the skullcap was still bleeding when Bill caught up with him, and you could see where another antler had gouged in underneath it and popped it off. And of course, there were a few whiffs as well. Ron and my cousin Eric missed a dandy 8-point, and my brother Jesse threw a shot at a buck that was limping. It wasn't a good shot to take, and he missed, but when they're already bitched up the best thing you can do is put 'em on the ground. Much less painful for the deer to die by a hunter than let nature take its course.

Also, my cousin Nate saw a goofy buck that we got pictures of back in July. We hadn't seen him since then, so we thought he might have gotten jacked. Still around, though, but not quite legal. Hopefully he'll make it through the junior hunters this year so we can whack 'im next year.

Another week left, so I'm sure I'll have more for ya soon.

Y'all take care, now.