The Grammys

Some substantial postin' is comin' later this week, I promise. I gotta get back in the swing of things in this here ramblin' space of mine.

In the meantime, the girl's out watchin' the Grammys, and I'm feelin' ornery, so I thought I'd share my thoughts on the red carpet...

 I bet a buncha those pretentious asshats did the ice bucket challenge when that shitshow was makin' the rounds. I got a better challenge for 'em...

Backlogged (again)

I have a lotta catchin' up to do on this here blog, as usual. But that ain't happenin' today, and tomorrow ain't lookin' likely either. I'm mainly checkin' in to let my two faithful followers know that I ain't dead.

In lieu of a post with some substance, I'll simply leave you with my dinner from the other night...

Bacon cheddar elk burgers, otherwise known as Heaven between two slices of Italian. The elk burger was seasoned with some paprika, diced onion, garlic powder and Old Bay, with some bread crumbs and an egg thrown in to hold the whole mess together. Served with BBQ sauce and jalapeño pickles, and washed down with a local ale of unknown  origin (the filled growler was a Christmas present... I don't remember the name of the brewpub it came from). All of these things conspired to make a goddammed delicious, if not quite healthy, meal for this fat kid.

From our parlor to yours...

Because the cows don't take a day off to celebrate the birth of our Lord.

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Good shit paper

Figgered I'd throw this'n out while I'm bashin' on the Hildebeast.

My brothers and I saw these gems durin' our annual Christmas shoppin' trip* last week.

I'd be honored to wipe my ass with this stuff. Be the most fittin' tribute I could manage for those two crooks.

* Many moons ago, when I was still in college and Jesse was workin' nearby, we decided to meet up after class/work at the local mall to do some Christmas shoppin'. We've done it every year since, and have since included Joe, and Jesse's oldest son. We don't actually shop for the most part, but we do enjoy drinkin' coffee from the mall coffee shop and checkin' out women. It's usually a big deal when one of us actually makes a purchase.

Too true, unfortunately

Saw this over on T-Shirt Hell the other day. Sadly, a lotta idiots will, just because she does.

I'd love to see some sort of required civic testin' be done in order to vote (and breed, for that matter). At the very least, there should be some sorta qualifications other than breathin'.

A bangin' deer chili recipe

I'm usually lucky to get a deer or two every year, but I have to ration my venison stash so it'll make it through the followin' year. That sure as hell ain't gonna be a problem this year, so I'm gonna have to be a little less shy about takin' stuff out and doin' some cookin' with it.

Anyways, I wanted to whip up a batch of deer chili to take to work the other day, so I jumped online to find a base recipe, then proceeded to alter the hell outta it. I cheated and used canned stuff, for lack of fresh produce layin' around. I also used beans, which you chili purists are sure to hate me for. I was raised on beans in my chili, and I see no reason to shy away from that at this point.

•••

Ingredients:
• 2 lbs ground deer burger
• 1 lb deer or pork sausage
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• Salt, pepper and Old Bay to taste

• 28oz can diced tomatoes
• 4oz can Chipotle peppers
• 15.5oz can sweet corn, drained
• 15.5oz can Navy beans, drained
• 15.5oz can Kidney beans, drained
• 2-3 diced jalapeño peppers
• 2 tsp Cinnamon
• Hot pepper sauce to taste

Prep:
While enjoying a cold beverage, brown the meat in a large skillet on low heat. Drain, then add the onions and garlic and cook for five more minutes. Add more beer to the cook as necessary.

Meanwhile, dump all the other ingredients into your crock pot. When the meat mixture is done, add that in, mix everything up, and cook on low for 8-10 hours. Stir every hour or so. Again, add more beer to the cook as necessary.

Serve with shredded Cheddar cheese and sour cream.

•••

That's all there is to it. I suck at cookin', and my prep time was still only about 15 minutes. There is a super-secret ingredient that I added, but faced with the risk of Aunt Wanda forcibly removin' my manhood, I have omitted it here. One of these days, I'll try a batch without it to see if it makes or breaks the recipe. I also noticed well after the fact that my base recipe called for 3 Tbsp of chili powder, which I completely forgot to add in.

Regardless, the outcome was jolly damn delicious, and my coworkers are still ravin' about it several days later. Go ahead and give it a fair shake and tell me whatcha think.

Timber

Over the summer, my lady mentioned that one of the trees in the backyard was lookin' a little rough. Sure enough, it barely grew any leaves and the ones that did grow died quickly.

The problem was, it was leanin' dangerously toward the house. There was about a ten-foot space between the house and the sandmound that it could be dropped without damagin' anythin', but I sure as hell didn't trust myself to give it a whirl. Instead of riskin' a lovely hole in the dining room ceilin' or smashed sandmound pipes, we decided to call in a pro.

The fella showed up the other day to take care of it, and I gotta say, it was worth every penny we paid him just to watch him work. Within two hours, he had that thing down slicker than shit. I learned more about woodcuttin' in that two hours that I have from any amount of time I've spent behind a saw.

Gotta love a cheap education.